I recently had a friend say to me, "No one ever talks about that first month and how truly hard it actually is."
I thought I would share a little bit of my first month and begin that conversation.
After having my son, it felt like there was a literal and figurative 'hole' in my body. I felt empty. Not only in how my body and my abdomen felt, but emotionally as well. It was such an odd feeling and I struggle to put into words.
Let's take a look at just the physical changes that occur to the body during pregnancy:
Take a look at where your internal organs move to. They get pressed up towards the diaphragm, which makes breathing more difficult. Look towards the bottom of our 'core canister', there is constant pressure on the pelvic floor as well.
Add on the hormonal and emotional changes of becoming a mother and it's no wonder this is a rollercoaster time for new moms.
The months following my son's delivery were a blur, but I remember thinking that my body just didn't quite feel like my body anymore. I now had this tiny human being feeding from me every couple of hours, and if I'm being honest, most days it felt like every 10 minutes....With the hormone changes occurring and the physical changes of my internal organs adjusting back to their usual places, etc. I didn't feel like myself, or as strong as I used to and that was hard to handle emotionally.
A couple things I reminded myself of, were one: this feeling of utter exhaustion and chaos was temporary (kind of), and two: that my body didn’t leave, even if it felt different. I didn’t “lose” my body, my body went through change; a major change. It grew life and brought that life into this world and for that I was incredibly grateful. My body had transformed.
As the weeks/months passed, my hormones began to regulate, I started to re-connect to my core and pelvic floor, and my body start to “feel” like mine again.
If no one told/has told you this:
❤️Feeling different in your body is ok.
❤️Grieving life before this transformation is ok.
❤️Getting frustrated is ok.
❤️Staying in those feelings is not.
💪Be the mother you have become and Evolve.
💪Become a better version of yourself.
Your postpartum journey takes time and patience. Get to know yourself again. You and your body have gone through changes, you have become a mother; that is an entire journey in and of itself! Re-connect with yourself and your body again and remember that if your body is capable to bringing life into this world, it is capable of ANYTHING!
What was early postpartum like for you? Do you remember the emotions you felt towards your body and to yourself? How did/will you overcome those emotions?